Mourn Jokes

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

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What time of day is it in France right now?

Mourning

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood

What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

When should funerals occur?

Mourning

What do you call a sad Ent?

Mourning wood.

What kind of an erection does a necrophiliac get?

Mourning wood! :)

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

mourning wood

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What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What happens when a necrophiliac goes to a funeral?

He gets mourning wood.

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

What's another name for a casket?

Mourning wood.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

What time of day is the saddest?

The mourning

How do you greet people at a funeral?

Mourning, everybody!

What does a widow say when she wakes up?

Mourning

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

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Snack Jokes More Snack Jokes

How do programmers like their snacks?

Byte-sized.

What do computers snack on?

micro chips

Johnny Jokes More Johnny Jokes

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

Why didn't Johnny go to the 7 A.M. funeral?

Because he just isn't a mourning person.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What did the tree say when it messed up?

A: It was an oakcident.

Why does Paris have tree lined streets?

Because the German army likes to march in the shade.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where do people in Detroit get their groceries?

They don't.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

people are dying to get in.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's a Henway?

Oh, you know. About 5 pounds. I'll show myself the door now.

How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

What did Medusa call the sheep she turned to stone?

Baaaaasalt

Middle Night Jokes More Middle Night Jokes

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it Ni**a (sorry for the offensive word)

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people?

He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this...

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.