Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Drummer Jokes More Drummer Jokes

Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!

How do you know a drummer is at your door?

The knock speeds up.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do men and tile floors have in common?

if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

How many transgender people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. But they have to sit in the dark room for a year, first, to make sure that the lightbulb is out.

Patio Furniture Jokes More Patio Furniture Jokes

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

How do you make a cat sounds like a dog?

Douse it in gasoline and set it on fire. !

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

How to spot the toughest guy in jail?

He still has some whistle left in his fart.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why did Oscar Pistorius lose his court case?

He hadn't got a leg to stand on.

How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

A: Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.