Porch Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your front porch?

Matt. Others:

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What's Irish and stays on your back porch all year?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and sits on the porch?

Patty O'Furniture

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch?

Paddy O' furniture

How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?

Cats

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What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

What do you call an Irishman who sits on the porch all year round?

Patty O'Furnature

What do you call an Irishman sitting on your front porch?

Paddy O'Furniture

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a green man sitting on my porch?

My n*gger and I'll paint him whatever color I want.

Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch?

Paddy O'Furniture!

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Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

Where do you want me to put my clothes?

She says, "On top of mine."

Pool Player Jokes More Pool Player Jokes

What country has the highest concentration of pool players?

Irack.

How do you get a pool player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What is a primate's ideal salary?

A gorillian dollars per year.

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?

Pete.

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

How are 4chan and Tumblr alike?

They usually announce a trigger warning before mentioning a school shooting

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What color is ice?

Hielo.

What color are mirrors?

I don't know, let's reflect on this.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids?

A stand up guy

Patio Furniture Jokes More Patio Furniture Jokes

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

How do you burn an Irishman ear?

Ring him while he's ironing...

What do you call an Irishman that stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture