Chew Jokes

How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count?

You have to chew before you swallow!

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What kind of gum do bees chew?

BUMBLEGUM. Five year olds think it's hilarious. I do not.

Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to chew?

The wheelchair

What did Bea Arthur whisper in her lover's ear?

An elaborate fantasy in which she is in prison and tries to escape by chewing through the bars of her cell.

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

What's the easiest way to get the chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer

How do scientists develop chewing gum flavors?

Through ex-spear-i-mints.

What's pink and slowly turns red?

A baby chewing on a razor blade.

What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out?

A chewing gum you pervert

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why are dogs in a lot of pain?

Because they chew balls.

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Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

What do bees chew?

Bumble gum.

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause I stepped on it.

Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?

Because they're wrigleys !

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer...

What kind of gum do astronauts chew?

Hubble Bubble

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

Why do cowboys have foreskin?

So they have a place to put there chewing tobacco when brushing their teeth

What do you call gummy semites?

Chews!

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

How does a train eat?

It goes chew, chew

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Prison Jokes More Prison Jokes

What picture does a cup get when it goes to prison?

A MUGshot.

Why hasn't bigfoot ever gone to prison?

Because he has only been convicted mythdemeanors.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?

I don't know man, I just fly the drones.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did 6 say to 9?

Baby! Let's do a 69. Hahaha XD

What do you call a baby Muslim?

A hand grenade.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who's there ! Becker ! Becker who ?

Becker the devil you know !

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

Look at her beaver.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What happens when a Cow tries to jump over a fence?

Udder destruction

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

What did the car said to the valet?

I've been through a lot.

Gum Jokes More Gum Jokes

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

Why is a train like a stick of gum?

A: One goes choo-choo the other goes chew-chew.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

What is the best kind of vegetable?

The one in the wheelchair.