French Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

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How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank?

The rear-view mirrors

What do you call a french racist?

A beget!

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do you call a french organized crime detective?

J'accuza

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.

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Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they could win one.

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

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What the sound of a rainbow laughing?

Hue hue hue hue

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why are Americans bad at MOBAs?

Because they cant defend towers.

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

420 Jokes More 420 Jokes

What do the french call 4/20?

What do pothead barbarians say when 420 rolls around?

420 raze it!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why doesn't Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn't like to be spotted

What did Christian Grey say when he read reviews of his movie?

People did not like my movie. I guess I am 50 shades of letdown... But I can sure GET UP"!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.

What's a boxer's favorite part of a joke?

The punchline

Link Jokes More Link Jokes

Why doesn't Ganondorf like going on the internet?

There are too many Links.

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

before 15:30 ... I'll show myself out

Why Do Giraffes Have Such Long Necks?

So they can reach their head!