French Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank?

The rear-view mirrors

What do you call a french racist?

A beget!

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do you call a french organized crime detective?

J'accuza

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they could win one.

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

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Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What's the worst part of being a cook in prison?

Having to toss everyone's salad

What is ez to cook?

CookEZ.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do North Korea and my girlfriend have in common?

Neither want me coming inside them.

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the changes necessary will come from within.

French Fry Jokes More French Fry Jokes

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

How did the blonde burn her nose?

Bobbing for french fries.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

Small medium at large.

What's the difference between the jokes I read today, and the jokes I read last week?

The posters

French Guy Jokes More French Guy Jokes

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

How did the french guy feel when he got hit by a piece of bread?

He felt pain.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

What do terrorists and the American government have in common?

They both blow up people who don't agree with them.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work?

Because he got Snowden

How do diapers work?

Hnng. Aaaaaaaah. Like that. I'll show myself the door.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

What did the deaf Canadian say to the American that was talking?

Eh?