Guy Jokes

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do they put chicken wire around these plants?

Other guy:" To protect the chicken plants"

Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

Why did the guy that owned a chocolate building bang his mom?

Because he had an edible complex.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, "So, what did she say?

I'm funny that way.

What does an IT guys use for birth control?

His personality.

What does a guy want more than anything in the world?

It doesn't matter. He has to ask his wife first.

What is white and gold and black and blue?

A blonde in a physically abusive relationship. See you guys in hell.

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What is it called when 5 girls get into bed with one guy?

A "no one will ever believe me".

What do guys like but are afraid of?

Girls

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

How do you call the guy who immigrates to Saudi Arabia?

Wannabee Wahhabi.

Why did the blonde go to church?

B/c she heard there was a guy hung like this(https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)

What do you guys think of message boards?

I'm all forum.

What can guys call it?

How about bleeding white

What have you tried so far?

Me: Everything IT guy: Me: I shook the mouse a few times and did some swearing

Who won the Battle of the Bulge?

The guy with the bulge in his sock ...

What's your spirit animal?

An eagle. They're so majestic." MEANWHILE Horse: hey eagle, what's your spirit human Eagle: this guy Dave

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

What do you call a guy who is in color guard?

A flaggot

What did the guy say when he found out that his wife's breast s had implants?

THOSE ARE SILLY CONES"

What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive?

The Stunning-Cougar Effect.

What happens when a guy with no legs dies?

He punches the bucket

What are you guys yelling about?

them: YOU'RE DRIVING

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?

Neither did he.

Two guys walk into a bar . . .

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

You might also enjoy:

Coach Jokes More Coach Jokes

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 15 black guys?

Coach.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by a group of black guys?

Coach.

11 Jokes More 11 Jokes

Why is DJ Khaled's favorite number 11?

Cuz it has another 1

Why is 11 afraid of 9?

Because ten, nine ate!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?

A: By their names.

What's the difference between the east-german and the west-german accent?

While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.

Bonjour Jokes More Bonjour Jokes

How do you say "I surrender" in french?

Bonjour"

What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?

Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!" ("Hello, I am called Guy as well!")

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb?

When this gets 500 upvotes, I'll tell you the answer.

How do you keep a moron in suspense for 24 hours?

I'll post the answer tomorrow.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many liberals does it take to defend America?

Nobody knows, they've never tried.

How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?

They all dress like Dobby.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

Baseball Team Jokes More Baseball Team Jokes

What do you call the baseball team made out of Pokemon?

The New York Mankeys!

What do you call 5 black guys and a white guy?

A basketball team. What do you call 9 black guys and a white guy? A baseball team. What do you call 11 black guys and a white guy? A football team. What do you call 100 black guys and a white guy? A cell block