Name Jokes

What do you call a stupid kid in pre-school?

Names.

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How does a black mother tell her children apart?

She remembers them by their last names.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch?

Names!

What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch?

Names! -Bo Burnham

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

What do you call a boy with no arms and an eyepatch????

Names

How does she tell them apart?

Their last names.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do George Michael and Carrie Fisher have in common?

Both their first names have six letters. That's it. For now. Edit: they're both dead.

How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with?

Me: *names two of them*

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

What were their names?

Hot and Cold.

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet?

Ben/Anna!

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

How to make your God proud?

By abusing his names in other languages.

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?

A: By their names.

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

What did the black mother name her 5 daughters?

Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How did she tell them apart She called them by their last names!

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs?

Names.

Why are there broken condoms on the couch?

Wife: Would you please call our children by their names!

What did the dumb blonde say when told that "Scheherezade" was composed by Rimsky-Korsakov ?

A: "Why'd his mom choose to call him Rimsky of all names !! "

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a bro say when asked if he needs help doing a magic trick?

Nah brah, tadah brah!

When the bartender asks you what's in a Ryan Lochte?

Just say "I don't know, make something up"

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

Why do blacks raise chickens?

To teach their kids how to walk.

Sky Jokes More Sky Jokes

Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?

A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

Lorde Jokes More Lorde Jokes

What's the similarity of the World Series and Lorde?

They'll never be royals

What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year?

Pure Heroine by Lorde.

Summer Jokes More Summer Jokes

What do triangles do in the summer?

They tan.

Where do pirates go in the summer?

In ARRgentina.

T Jokes More T Jokes

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

What's Mr. T's favorite band?

the Foo Fighters

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why did I cross the road?

Because your mom was on the other side..

What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.