Quarter Jokes

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Why did the football coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarter back!

How do you know when the Moon is going broke?

When it's down to it's last quarter.

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese !

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

What time was it?

A quarter to three.

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What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?

A humburger.

What does an American call a Canadian Dollar?

A quarter.

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

Why are you begging for a quarter?

Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a piece of cheese on his head?

Quarter pounder with cheese!

What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?

Money's tight these days!

How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter?

Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

Why is the moon like a dollar?

It has four quarters.

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

A double quarter pounder with cheese.

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse?

Two bits!

What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Why did the football player tackle the phone booth?

To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha

How much does he give the cashier?

2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back.

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

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What do you call a brown woman with a yeast infection?

Beef Wellington

Whats the difference between a sly pig and a yeast infection?

One's a cunning runt.....

Dairy Farm Jokes More Dairy Farm Jokes

What do you call a man with a fetish for US currency who works on a dairy farm?

A quarter-pounder with cheese.

What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk?

Utter despair.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis (If you don't get it, say it slower.)

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What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

What do you guys think of message boards?

I'm all forum.

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Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

Why can't americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

What's wrong with Bessie?

She looks like she's in constant pain! She has mooootiple sclerosis

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom