Reason Jokes

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

Why was the man allergic to Christmas?

Because it's the reason for the sneason.

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind. 2. No business.

Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies?

Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9.

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

What's the reason Bollywood Cast parties are awkward?

They think Cast is spelled with an e.

What do feminists search for on scavenger hunts?

Reasons to be offended.

What's the reason my shower isn't working?

You have only one second to guess the answer. No pressure.

What is the reason for short people temper?

They are closer to hell.

When I asked her why, she said "uhhh no real reason". I'm thinking, "no reason, huh?

So I punched her in the face. Now she has a reason.

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

Why was the blind guy always so happy?

He couldn't see any reason not to be!

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!

What is your best trait?

Me: Procrastination. B: How is that a positive M: I'll give you my reasons. Later.

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

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Harambe Jokes More Harambe Jokes

What was the REAL reason Harambe was executed?

He found Hillary's emails

What do you call the offspring of a sheep and a gorilla?

haRAMbe

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why is learning English confusing when you're camping?

Because running is past tents.

What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety?

Past tense.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

Diaper Jokes More Diaper Jokes

Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?

To hide his nuts!!

What do you call someone who wears a diaper fashioned from a map?

Incontinent

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What do British girls do to hearts?

Brexit

What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?

Brexit has actually affected society.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom?

If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military