Adam Jokes

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back! I don't know how big it's going to get!

What time of day was Adam born?

Just a little before Eve

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

What did adam say to eve?

Let's save humanity.

Why can't you trust an Adam?

They make up everything.

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

What is Adam's brother called?

Subtractem

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve?

Christmas Adam

Why is Adam known as the first accountant?

He turned a leaf and made an entry.

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What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve."

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

What where Adam's first words to Eve?

Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"

Who was the first carpenter ever?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

How do we know that Adam wasn't a black man?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man!! !

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?

A. They really raised Cain.

How do we know that Adam and Eve weren't black?

You can't take a rib from a black man

Who was the worlds first capenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

What did Adam say to Eve the first time he got an erection?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!"

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?

Parents.

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Who were the first people not to read the apple ToC?

Adam and Eve

How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?

A. They were really put out.

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?

Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Who's there ! Adam ! Adam who ?

Adam up and tell me the total !

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What was the first treacherous thing said?

Adam you gotta try this!

How do you know that Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

How do we know Adam &amp Eve weren't black?

You ever tried taking a rib from a black man

How Do We Know That Adam Wasn't Black?

Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

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What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel!

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Why sugars are very unhappy these days?

It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

How can you tell if Lady Gaga is dead?

Po-po-po-po-po-po-poke-her-face

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What is your biggest strength?

I am always on time." "And your biggest weakness " "I get annoyed when my dealer is late."

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Total Jokes More Total Jokes

What do you call the statistics for the total amount of waste produced by the US this year?

Gross

Who's there ! Adam ! Adam who ?

Adam up and tell me the total !

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What do you call a dog that is underwater?

A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What kind of bears don't have teeth?

Gummi bears. )

What do you call a foreign born communist running for President?

Ted Cruz