Bean Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

How does William Shakespeare make chili?

With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question.

How many beans are in Irish Chili?

239, because if there was 1 more it would be "Too Farty".

Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

What happens when Jack is angry with his beans?

Jack and the beans talk

What did the bean say to the other bean?

How have you been?

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What did one bean say to the other?

How you bean doing.

How many beans are in Irish bean soup?

Two-thirty-nine. One more and it'd be too farty.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the hipster make crappy coffee?

The beans are always under-ground.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQs?

Because the beans keep falling through the grill.

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ?

Beans on post !

Who's there ! Cork ! Cork who ?

Cork and beans !

Why did ancient Egyptians love beans?

They made Tootin' Common.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?

the beans keep slipping through the grill.

What's the difference between garbanzo beans an chickpeas?

I don't have to play $50 for a garbanzo bean in my face.

Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

How many beans do you put in Irish chili?

Two hundred and thirty-nine. Why Because one more would be two-farty.

Why Mr.BEAN Bought A Brown Cow?

2 Get Chocolate Milk!!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

Who's there ! Bean ! Bean who ?

Bean working very hard today !

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans :-)

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

What is the politically correct term for Mexicans?

Human Beans.

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

What do you call a bean that's good at silent acting?

A pintomime.

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Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

a soviet

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

What does a toddler get drunk off of?

Jack Danimals!

Green Bean Jokes More Green Bean Jokes

What do you call an environmentally-conscious Mexican?

A Green Bean

What's the difference between a green bean chickpea?

No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest

Chest Jokes More Chest Jokes

What makes the Palestinians tick?

Not counting the bombs strapped to their chests, I have no clue.

What's the difference between a green bean chickpea?

No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is the opposite of peace?

is the question.

How much for a consultation?

Three questions for $150 bucks." "Kinda steep, isn't it " "Yeah, now what's your last question."

Garbanzo Bean Jokes More Garbanzo Bean Jokes

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never paid a garbanzo to bean on my face.

What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face?

Having a chickpea on your face.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What do you call a bag of tiny crosses?

Jesus Pieces.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How accurate is the Bible?

100% at short range

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."