Mosquito Jokes

What do you call Muslims at the end of their religious service?

Mosquitoes

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What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?

A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

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What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?

A bite-time story.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

What animal gets applauded?

The mosquito.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

shhhhhh.....it !!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

To improve his bite !

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?

Skin-diving !

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

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Mountain Climber Jokes More Mountain Climber Jokes

How did the thermal imaging camera warn the mountain-climber?

Isee cold."

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

Pajama Jokes More Pajama Jokes

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

What is a Stealth Bomber's favourite Banana in Pajamas?

B-2

End Jokes More End Jokes

What does train tracks and breast have in common?

They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them

What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"?

It's "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

Why was the iPad sad?

Someone took a bite out of its Apple.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition?

Ah yes wax would go well with this cake and you know what else Child spit.

Tale Jokes More Tale Jokes

Why are cats bad storytellers?

Because they only have one *tale*

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What do you call a Russian airliner that goes down over Egypt?

Karma.

What do you call a Russian ninja?

Shneakoff ( I apologise, this is my first ever post so I'm using that as my excuse)

Scalar Jokes More Scalar Jokes

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.