Build Jokes

What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do angry beavers build?

DAMNITS!

Why wasn't Rome built in a day?

Because it was a government job.

What is an ark?

2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why did the console peasant cross the street?

To render the building on the other side!

What do you call a building you can't locate?

A warehouse

When does a black person goes to school?

When it's being built!

What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building?

C4 yourself!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Mexican princess ask her sister?

Tijuana build a snowman

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

Why did the bees build the hive?

It's in their beehavior.

What did the Annoying Orange say on Fox News?

We're going to build a wall"

What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

Why do people keep building so many new mausoleums?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

What's dumber than three blondes building a house underwater?

Three brunettes trying to burn it down.

Why is it so hard to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

What did the Zionist rabbi say when he heard about the plight of the Palestinian people?

Never mind their wailing. We'll just build more walls!

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

Why did you burn that building down?

Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

You might also enjoy:

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How do you know you are at r/jokes?

The guys all look like they played football for Bronx HighSchool of Science

What is yellow and goes click-click?

A ball-point banana. Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older Wizard: With luck yes. Witch:

Legola Jokes More Legola Jokes

Why was the baby elf sad?

Because he was Legolas

Why was Orlando Bloom sad when he realised he wasn't able to build small toy houses?

Because he was Legolas.

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

How do you know it was not U.S. that did the aerial bombing?

Because the funeral, wedding and hospital were not the targets.

What did Michael Jackson have in common with Target?

Boys clothes half off.

Burn Building Jokes More Burn Building Jokes

What do call a white guy in a burning building?

Fire cracker

What did one termite say to another in a burning building?

Barbecue tonight!"

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you pay for incense?

In cents

What Hillary's word for a bribe?

Pay her and she'll speak to you about it.

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

How soon?

the frail man asked, his body trembling at every word. "In ten." "Ten what Ten years Ten-" "Nine." "Eight."

What do you say to a man with no body and no nose?

No body nose.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow ?

Reality. I'll show myself out now...

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

A drummer.

How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense?

I'll tell you guys tomorrow