Knead Jokes

Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

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Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

because he was kneaded.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why are pizza makers always poor?

Because they knead dough to make a living.

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What did the hands say to the flour?

I knead you!"

Why were the baker's hands smelly?

He kneaded a poo

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

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Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

Why is money called dough?

Because we all knead it.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?

You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

When is a bread not kneaded?

When it's unnecessary

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

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What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?

Grab a cup of joe.

How does a New York University psychology major turn on his lights in the morning?

By opening the car door.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What club cancels their meeting everytime?

The vegan club

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold?

The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad

Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

Business Jokes More Business Jokes

What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

A bus

What is the best way for a pet shop to get business?

Word of mouse.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What's the difference between a black person and cancer?

Cancer got Jobs

What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job?

You had one job.

Information Jokes More Information Jokes

What are four ways of spreading information that begins with "tel"?

Telephone, telegram, television, and tell a woman.

What's the difference between a computer and a woman?

A computer only has to have information punched into it once.

Doe Jokes More Doe Jokes

Why did the poor man sell yeast?

He wanted to make some doe!

Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?

In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.