Cheese Jokes

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

Which cheese is schizophrenic?

Halloumi

What's Medusa's favorite kind of cheese?

Gorgonzola.

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

What do you call an arcade in eastern europe?

czech-e-cheese

What is a mouse's favorite record ?

Please cheese me' !

What did the mouse say to the webcam?

Cheese.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection?

A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum

How did I boast to the cheese I made myself?

Gruyere."

What do you call an aggresive white guy that over-acts in a movie?

A salty cracker with cheese.

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What's it called when you borrow cheese from a friend?

taking out a provoloan

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What did the milk say to the cheese?

Hey, you're old!

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

What's the difference between a pizza, and this joke?

One has cheese on it, the other's just plain cheesy.

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What's Medusa's favorite type of cheese?

Gorgon*zola

What is Rhiannas favorite type of cheese?

mozzarella-ella-ella

What did God say to the cheese that sinned?

Gouda Hell.

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

Why didn't the cheese get sliced?

It was destined for grater.

What does God smell like?

Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese

Why did the man put cheese on his computer?

A: He wanted to feed the mouse.

What type of cheese is strong?

Shredded cheese.

What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan?

Battle Royale with cheese

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

A double quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a Ethiopian with gonorrhoea?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a basketball players favorite kind of cheese?

Swish cheese.

Which cheese is the loneliest?

Prov-alone!

What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What musical instrument goes with cheese?

Picklelo.

Who's there ! Bologna ! Bologna who ?

Bologna & cheese !

What do you call an Irish girl sitting on a hot griddle holding a piece of cheese?

A paddy melt!!

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality?

gets arrested*

What kind of sandwich is this?

She asks. "It cheese ma."

What do they call Independence Day in France?

A Royale-free with cheese! (Happy Bastille Day(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BastilleDay)!)

What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese?

Mi Kase es su Kase.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours...?

Not *your* cheese!

What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection?

A cracker with cheese

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Why did the cheese go to the museum?

To get cultured

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

What cheese can never be yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call cheese by itself?

Provolone.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why isn't anyone afraid of China?

Because everyone knows General Tsao's chicken. Heard from a friend today. :)

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl?

He turns off his xbox.

What would Hillary tell Bill when she will sit at the Oval Office?

Close, Bill, but no cigar!"

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Jar Jokes More Jar Jokes

What does a door and a jar have in common?

They both are ajar.

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why are Norwegian women so hot?

The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones!

French Jokes More French Jokes

Why did the french geologist have to go to the hospital?

He had Gaul stones.

Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino?

Because they hate french press.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ?

You get very lumpy ice cream !

What did Kris Kross tell the nervous paratrooper?

Tell her you're a paratrooper. Chicks dig that kind of thing."