Grow Jokes

Because when they are kids their mothers always tell them: "If you grow up you have to work" *Translated from italian hope it makes as much sense as there

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife?

Let's grow MOLD together!

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

What's the difference between a banana and a bann?

A bann grows on vines. I'll show myself out........

What's the difference between a yogurt and the Americans?

If you leave a yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

Why women mature faster than men?

Because men start growing breasts only after 40 years old.

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

What do you call trees that grow in Tobago?

Tobogany.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up?

Garry Oldman.

Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

Why are dead baby jokes so funny?

They never grow old.

What is the definition of a goose ?

An animal that grows down as it grows up !

What's te definition of a bachelor pad?

A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator.

What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?

Just water

What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?

Garbage collectors.

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!

What's another name for an parent?

Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist.

What's yellow has long ears and grows on trees?

The Easter Bunana!

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

How did the farmer grow his portfolio?

Cornstock

What do clouds want to be when they grow up?

Thunderstorms

Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?

But most just have 4.

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

You might also enjoy:

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

What did the plant say to the vegan?

Leaf me alone.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Christmas music and Kobe Bryant?

Christmas music will still be playing next year.

What is the difference between a mechanical and civil engineer?

The former builds weapons, the latter targets

Knee Jokes More Knee Jokes

How do black people grow?

Their knee grows!

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

What part of the road is always crying?

A: The breakdown lane.

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

How can you tell if your goose is depressed?

It's feeling down.

Mushroom Jokes More Mushroom Jokes

Why did the mushroom have so many friends?

He was a fungi.

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible

Dyslexic Jokes More Dyslexic Jokes

Why don't dyslexics like the story of King Arthur?

They think it's about the romance and majesty of Camelto.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of government would a nation ran by Alvin and the Chipmunks be called?

A theocracy.

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns