Hole Jokes

Why don't Muslims fight each other often?

Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?

For the Halibut

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Whats the distance between hole one and hole two?

She answered "About an inch".

What is a condom with a hole?

Kinder Surprise

What's red, white and sits in a hole in a tree?

A sanitary owl

Why was the moth so unpopular ?

He kept picking holes in everything !

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you know when the hole you're digging is big enough?

When the (w)hole job's done.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Who smashed a hole through the wall?

Everyone in the office stares at me, even the Kool-Aid man

How do you make holes in a fire?

With a fire drill.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !

How many mm3 of dirt is there in a hole 1m x 1m x 1m?

There is no dirt in the hole!

What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?

A hole-y Cow!

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

What did the man say when he sat on a candle?

Fire in the hole!

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

What's the difference between a condom and the space-time continuum?

There wasn't a hole in my dad's space-time continuum.

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

Who's there ! Anita ! Anita who ?

Anita you like I need a hole in the head !

Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

How many amateur masochists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one; But it takes a WHOLE E.R. room to extract it afterwards. Double joke! "whole... hole." it's a play on words ;)

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

You might also enjoy:

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What's 8 feet tall, covered in fur, and walks around the Himalayas undermining your arguments by attacking your character?

The Adhomineminal Snowman

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What happens if you pee on Putin's head?

Urine big trouble...

Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning?

You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

How do Super Heroes like their drinks served?

WITH JUST ICE!

What does Batman put in his drink?

Just ice

Golf Club Jokes More Golf Club Jokes

Why don't they drill holes in golf clubs?

Cause then there would be a hole in one!

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

What equine likes to cut in line?

A sawhorse!

Trap Jokes More Trap Jokes

What happened to the Polish dog?

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?

He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places

Where would you find Percy Miller's toothbrush?

In his Master P room.