Jump Jokes

When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake?

Nobody. The pigs all jump in.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Why did the horse run into the bar?

He didn't jump high enough.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?

All of them a crossbar can't jump!

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

What's it called when a cow attempts to jump a barbed-wire fence?

An udder disaster

What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence?

I'm udderly ruined!" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?

Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

What does the janitor say when he jumps out of the closet?

supplies!!!!!!!!!!

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can't jump!

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

What dog can jump higher than a building?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

What does autocorrect and women have in common?

They both jump to concussion

Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics?

Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

Why did Johnny jump off the Eiffel Tower?

He was suicidal.

What's the definition of a tree?

Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house?

Because a house can't jump.

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!

What did the Asian janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!"

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

A:('A jump rope')"

Why does the Clyde run through Glasgow?

Because if it walked, it'd get jumped!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Cliff Jokes More Cliff Jokes

Why wouldn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?

A: Because it had no guts.

Why did the blonde jump off the cliff?

A: She thought her maxi pad had wings

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.

What do you call a guy with no legs at your front door?

Matt

Kangaroo Jokes More Kangaroo Jokes

What does a kangaroo and a banana have in common?

They both can't ride a bike.

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

Penny Jokes More Penny Jokes

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What do u call a spanish man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of cereal do zombies like?

Kellog's All Brain

What kind of organisation is Atheism?

A non-prophet organisation.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

He had no body to go with him! baD-dumB-tssssJOKE

What did the dragon say as he entered the party?

Hey, how are you *Alduin*