Ride Jokes

What do little sisters ride?

A Nii-san

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What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What's the difference between my bike and your mom?

Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

What do ghosts like about riding horses?

Ghoulloping.

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards?

Lawrence of Dublin.

What did the boots say to the cowboy?

You ride -- I'll go on foot.

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What type of train can a ginger not ride?

A soul train

What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon?

A parsnip.

What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?

Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.

Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle?

A: Because he was a gold fish.

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

Why did the cowboy ride his horse?

Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

Who Conquers All obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

Lets go ride a bike!

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?

Weeeeeeeee!!!

What do Terrorist Witches ride?

Boomsticks

What does a Japanese girl ride?

Niisan.

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

What happened to the man who owned a riding academy?

Business kept falling off!

What elephant and a canary and in common?

They both can't ride bicycles.

What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?

Bronchitis (bronc-itis).

What is a Siths favorite thing to ride in?

An elevader.

What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse?

Get off your high horse.

Where do weirdos ride their bicycles?

Psycho-paths. (as told by one of my coworkers)

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?

Attire

What is the definition of "derange"?

De place where de cowboys ride!

What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?

Goose Rider

What does a snail riding on a turtles back say?

WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

A: Bach in the saddle again.

Why is the ocean always wet?

Because wherever she is, she's always getting rode.

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?

A. Wheeeee!!!!!

Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike?

Because it's probably your bike

What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

You can't ride your bike on a sociopath

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

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Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What's the worst thing about ancient history class?

The teachers tend to Babylon.

What tends to satisfy thirst the most?

Waterboarding.

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

Why do they say "break a leg !" to actors ?

If you said "tear an ACL !" to a star athlete, you'd be shot on the spot.

Why was the Berlin Wall torn down?

It didn't match with the Iron Curtains.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

What does a Pirate prefer to wear?

Doublet or nothing.

Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm?

So that they can say they liked it before it was cool.

Solo Jokes More Solo Jokes

What did Chewy say after episode VII?

I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo solo

What does Metallica's St. Anger and Star Wars VIII have in common?

No solo.

Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked?

He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

What do you call an arrogant prisoner walking down the stairs?

Condescending. )

How do chinese people name their childre n?

They throw a toaster down the stairs.

Redneck Jokes More Redneck Jokes

Why do rednecks love fall?

Because it's the only time of year they can pump kin.

What kind of bread do Rednecks like?

Inbred

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican that loses a car?

Carlos.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Alien vs. Predator