Climb Jokes

How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't climb the ladder.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

How many muslims does it take to climb a building?

daesh many.

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and a black widow?

Nothing. Neither can climb out of a bathtub.

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ?

A fence.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Why do apes climb to the tops of buildings?

The elevator men are on strike!

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What has four legs, two horns, and always brags about climbing really tall things?

A mountain gloat.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here?

No, the guide said, one time is usually enough.

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

What's white and can't climb trees?

A Refrigerator

What's Chinese and climbs the Empire State Building?

Ping Pong

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?

To get in his nest.

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

Why can't rock climbing instructors get dates?

Because they rappel men and women.

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge with a denim jacket on

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !

What did Mario say to Yoshi when he started climbing the Cherry tree?

X-post r/landscaping) Yoshino!!!

How does a elephant hide in the jungle?

2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples.

How do you climb a triangle?

By scalene it

How to climb a flight of stairs?

Step one Step two Step three

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator. Sorry.

Whats white and cant climb trees?

A fridge --

What's big and hairy and climbs up the Empire State Building in a dress?

Queen Kong.

What did the stupid ghost do?

He used to climb over walls.

What do you call a witch who climbs up walls?

Ivy.

What do a squirrel and a piano have in common ?

Both can climb trees, except the piano

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.

Why did Batman climb the tree?

He was looking for Robin's nest.

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Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

What did the short boy bring to high school?

A ladder.

Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None, that is a hardware problem.

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

Pyramid Jokes More Pyramid Jokes

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

Why did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

To get to the other side.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do you call a black man in a tree?

Branch Manager

Why does lightning always strike trees?

They are the path of leaf resistance.

Jungle Jokes More Jungle Jokes

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?

They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

Chain Link Fence Jokes More Chain Link Fence Jokes

What do you get if you cross a retard and a graffiti artist?

Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence?

To see what was on the other side.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if a complete stranger is vegan?

They already told you.

Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats?

Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt.

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Why don't you have kids?

points to dead cactus*