Door Jokes

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

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When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house?

A: When the door is open.

What does it say on the door of the Microsoft store?

No shirt, no shoes, no Surface.

What's the matter son?

The boy next door said I look just like you What did you say Nothing he's bigger than me !

Why are teachers always making answer keys?

So they can open doors of opportunity for their students.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

When is a --- not a ---?

joke I'll start you off: When is a door not a door &gt

Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit?

through that door" Thank you very ruff! "What'd you say " *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*

Why should you always keep a firearm in the small room by your front door?

Foyer protection

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

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What do you call a psychiatric patient who is afraid of doors?

Unhinged

What do you get when you cross a Jehova's witness with a business man?

A door to door salesman!

How do you make a Game of Thrones fan sad?

You ask them to hold the door for you.

Who's there ! Bettina ! Bettina who ?

Bettina minute you'll open this door !

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

What do you if there is a black out?

Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.

Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep?

ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

Who's there ! Belle ! Belle who ?

Belle-t up and open this door !

What do you call a lightbulb that holds the door for you?

A polite bulb.

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

Who's there ! Bolzano ! Bolzano who ?

Bolzano the door !

Why are you naked & why is Greg under your desk?

Me: Boss: Me: Shut the door when you leave

What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door?

Let my peephole grow!

Who was that at the door?

Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "

Who's there ! Apple ! Apple who ?

Apple the door myself!

How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it?

You knock on the door.

Why did the Anthropod need braces?

It had a trilobite. Get it ..I'll show myself to the door.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

Who's there ! Alexia ! Alexia who ?

Alexia again to open this door !

What do you do when your car is making a really annoying noise?

Open the door and kick her out.

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine?

A: Knock on the door.

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes?

Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE.

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

Who's there ! Annabel ! Annabel who ?

Annabel would be useful on this door !

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door?

Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific 4: No reason.

Where does a librarian sleep?

Between the covers. I will now show myself to the door.

How does a Muslim shut a door?

Islams it.

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

What was the last line in Anne Frank's diary?

Just a moment, someone's knocking on the door..

Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ?

Ben knocking on this door all morning !

Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there?

We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.

What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros?

Hodor

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

How do you answer the door Mathematically?

Door: "What is 2+2 " Me: "4" Door: "Cool!"

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

Who's there ! Canon ! Canon who ?

Canon open the door then

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?

They have no hands to knock on the door.

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Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, Chris Brown doesn't want you getting involved in his personal life

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

How do you keep your hair from blowing everywhere when you drive in a convertible?

Cross your legs

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...

'Can I join you?'

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles?

nail the other hand to the floor.

Who's a good girl?

WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

What is Long, has two balls and you lift it ?

A dumbell

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a woman in the bath and a woman at church?

Well... the woman at church has hope in her soul.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a notebook?

A notebook has papers. -I'll see myself out now

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did the blind man walk into a wall?

Somebody shot his dog

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

Refrigerator Jokes More Refrigerator Jokes

What's white and can't climb trees?

A Refrigerator

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.