Window Jokes

How many I.T. workers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none, just upgrade to windows

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Why is there no Windows 9 ?

Because Windows 7 8 9.

What do space aliens put on their windows?

A: Venutian blinds.

What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert?

A daydreamer stares out of windows.

Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning?

A: Because he can't see through the wall.

What is the difference between a Train and an Hamster ?

The train got windows

What did the homeowners of house haunted by windows have?

Phantom panes.

Why is there no Windows 6 or Windows 9?

Windows 6 got scared because Windows 7 8 9

Why do you say he's conceited?

Fred: Well every time there was a thunderclap during the storm he went to the window and took a bow.

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

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What's the difference between windows 10 and the world's biggest virus?

The Logo.

Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out the window?

Tequila*

Why do you look out the window in the morning?

A: Because you can't see through walls, and you can't see anything at night anyway.

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

A: You should bill Gates.

What do computers and air conditioners have in common?

Neither work when you open windows.

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?

How slime flies!

Why did Windows skip 9?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why is the next Windows version 10 and not 9?

Because 7 ate(8) 9!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

Why do vampire's use linux?

Because they don't like windows in their house. BaDumTss

Why does my van have windows?

I want to make my victims feel like they have a chance.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

What's the difference between a dog and Windows 10?

A dog knows what is 'no'.

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

What do you if there is a black out?

Make sure your doors are locked and windows bolted shut.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?

A: 3 years

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

Why couldn't the chicken fly through the window?

A: It was closed.

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

Why won't Arnold Schwarzenegger upgrade to windows 10?

Because : he still loves vista,baby!

Why was windows 10 afraid of windows 7?

Because windows 7 8 9.

What do you suppose broke this window Mr. Holmes?

It's a limb entry, my dear Watson!

What's black and taps on the window?

A baby in the microwave :)

What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows?

Wendy's is never frozen.

Why did the old lady throw the clock outside her window?

SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL!!!!!!

How do you chip thin ice off a window?

You bust a rime.

What kind of stupid phone you got there?

Him: Windows phone Me: Oh takes it and lobs it out the window Yes it is

How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone ?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

What do you call 2 guys hanging on the wall around a window?

Kurt and Rod.

Whats worse than Bad command or File name?

Windows update message asking you to restart your computer

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

Why did they go from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Cause Seven ate Windows 9

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy ?

I must throw that doggie out the window !"!

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What do windows feel when they get hurt?

Pane!

How does Bill Gates enter his house?

A. He uses "windows".

How did they break in?

Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it Me: They threw it through the window.

Why did Microsoft go straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE *drops mic*

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What's the difference between Windows 8.1 and Windows 10?

The start menu.

What is black and knocking on the window from the inside?

A baby in the oven.

How's your narcissism?

Much better I thin...*sees my ex walking by* opens window HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE I BROKE UP WITH YOU!"

Why is the Apple Store always so hot?

They don't have Windows installed. )

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Why is Windows 10 like a moody teenager?

Because nobody gets it.

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

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8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

Version Jokes More Version Jokes

How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)

Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10?

Because no one wanted Windows Nein!

Window 8 10 Jokes More Window 8 10 Jokes

Why does it go from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!! :D

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10?

Because no one wanted Windows Nein!

How do you jump out of a fifteen-floors building without getting hurt?

You jump from the 1st one.

Spider Man Jokes More Spider Man Jokes

What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ?

Super Man wears his underwear over his pants..

What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common?

They're always rebooting.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it?

Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

What does a donkey say?

It says "Hey Shrek, whats up?" (I was 9 when i made this okay)

What did 6 say to 9?

Baby! Let's do a 69. Hahaha XD

Window 9 Jokes More Window 9 Jokes

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9 and going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!