Type Jokes

What type of people do vampires like?

Type O positive people.

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What is the only type of folder that can make you sick?

Salmon Manilla

What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?

Reality

What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?

A sore finger.

What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard :(

What type of math is dead?

Aerith-matic..

What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

What type of doctor did Batman visit after Bane broke his back?

A Chiroptopracter.

What type of animal browses Reddit?

Karma-vore

What are you typing?

Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.

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What type of car insurance does OJ da Juiceman have?

Triple Aaayyy

What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been?

Cantaloupe.

What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

What would you get if you crossed a skunk with a type of Easter candy?

Smelly beans!

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7-up for a living?

A Poptometrist!

Why are the busiest paleontologists always rednecks?

Because they are always caught up in some type of relative dating.

What type of job does T-Rex have?

He is small arms dealer

How many words can you type a minute?

ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean ME: Well, like for example, pickle

Why are people still using a dictionary?

I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

What is dumber than the Blonde jokes above?

A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.

What type of energy supplement do terrorist take?

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What type of brain does a plant have?

A membrane

What type of wrists are the scariest?

Terror wrists.

What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?

Tajweed

What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

What type of car does James Bond drive?

00-Sedan

What type of people can you not stand?

People in wheelchairs

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

What do you call a WordPress website that dresses up like another type of website?

DruPal

What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

What type of car does a dinosaur drive?

a priustoric!

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What type of key gets you into the bathroom the fastest?

A dookie

What type of phone does a hawk use?

A hawkie talkie.

What type of train can a ginger not ride?

A soul train

What type of fish needs to be tuned?

Tune a fish

What are the three types of men?

A: The handsome the caring and the majority.

What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

What type of truck takes a very long time to reach its destination?

A log n truck.

What's the difference between a Dutch oven and a German one?

The type of gas used.

How did the date go?

Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.

What type of lunch do you get at an air show?

A plain one.

Where does the thumb meet its type?

At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'!

What type of sense of humor does rain have?

A very wet sense of humor

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors. (sorry)

What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun?

Tom" Cruise Missiles.

What type of dog did the tweaker have?

A pure bred meth lab.

What type of cheese is strong?

Shredded cheese.

What type of gum does a Buddhist perfer?

Enlightenmint! More Gum Jokes!

What type of movies can't batman see?

Parental Guidance.

What type of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uniball.

What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin?

Santa Ana

What type of memory card is always laughing?

The XD card.

How do whales type e-mails?

With their fish fingers.

What type of wind is named after both a cat and a bat?

Katabatic

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

What type of veteran is he?

A seasoned veteran.

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?

Whole milk.

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What type of dog is always amazed?

A Chi-WOW!-ua

What did one keyboard say to the other keyboard?

Sorry you're not my type.

What is the only type of alcohol muslims are allowed to drink?

TAKBEER!

What is the one type of person that will never get angry?

A nomad.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What type of bees don't die?

Zom-bees

What type of currency do people use in outer space?

STARbucks.

What type of jokes are the least upvoted ones?

Original Jokes.

What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

What type of phones do fish use?

Shellular*, of course...

What type of trees do chickens grow on?

Poul-trees

Why is physics inherently racist?

There's only two types of bodies: the free body and the black body.

What type of wind is named after a young deer?

Foehn

What type of fruit loves chocolate the most?

A Coconut.

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?

Rock and Roll

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.

What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?

A very dry sense of humor

What type of monster really loves dance music?

A: The boogieman.

What type of tree hates company?

Sycamore trees!

What type of vegetable is only kinda awesome?

A radish

Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?

Because they use a strongly typed language.

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

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Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What was the problem?

ME: The packing implied that there would be a family that loves me inside the tent

Why is my algebra textbook so sad?

It has a lot of problems.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What is the difference between a dancer and a duck?

One goes quick on her beautiful legs the other goes quack on her beautiful legs.

What did the mallard yell in the drive-by shooting?

Duck!!!

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common?

Ze-bras!

Why can't black people swim?

Because there is no water in Africa.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

How do you change the number of sides on a Pentagon?

Intersect it with a plane.

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What does a vampire call a hemophiliac?

Diarrhea.

What do you call it when you stab a vampire in the lungs?

A miss stake

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

What do you call a group of rappers in a washing up bowl?

In Sink!

Gynecologist Jokes More Gynecologist Jokes

How are a pizza maker and a gynecologist the same?

They can both smell it, but they can't taste it.

Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country?

To study abroad.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS?

They always take things the wrong way.

Why are most reactionists black?

Because stealing is the only thing they can do.