2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools.
Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)
If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.
1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise
In case you get a hole in one.
2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high
The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.
When they scream they make no sense
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...
8 fingers and 2 Thu"ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar
2 Na
No1 : Don't tell everything you know.
2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.
the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
She saw 2 and 3 halving six
An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes -A retirement home.
Their patients are 2'
A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!
The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!
Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.
The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk
Kurt and Rod.
Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!
Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd
Because its natural log is 1. I'll show myself out now.
They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM
If it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.
It's not right.
1. She's basic. 2. She literally can't even.
Pregnant.
an elephant with diarrhea
HeHe
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired
2 nuns in a chainsaw fight!
She replied, "$9.50." "Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip "
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was
A: Shoot one.
An elephant with diarrhea...
Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)
Door: "What is 2+2 " Me: "4" Door: "Cool!"
Her: 44&66 HARDER!
1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.
Jose and Hose B
Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)
It was a No. 2.
they only had 2 trucks
Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."
Your ex!
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!
1 or 2? 1... or 2?
Brian drain !
Me: studying her closely He's... right here
Pooping
When the big hand touches the little one
Him: Water Me: No, my personality.
Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"
Simplifiying Radicals. (MATH joke)
Simplifying Radicals. Yes, she's a math teacher.
3. One to screw it in, the next to claim credit and the third to be a bot that reposts.
3 in 1
Chewie (You have to be a Star Wars fan)
Because after they ate the clowns, nothing is funny.
So it would run faster!!
Never having to buy another electric toothbrush.
2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.
