2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools.
Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)
If you take one, he'll drink all of your beer, If you take 2 neither will drink a drop
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Because if they had 4 doors they would be chicken sedans.
1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise
In case you get a hole in one.
2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high
The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.
When they scream they make no sense
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...
8 fingers and 2 Thu"ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar
2 Na
No1 : Don't tell everything you know.
2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.
the twenty second ones and the thirty second ones
1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money
She saw 2 and 3 halving six
An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes -A retirement home.
Their patients are 2'
A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!
The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!
Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.
The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk
Kurt and Rod.
Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!
Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd
Because its natural log is 1. I'll show myself out now.
They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.
1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM
If it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.
It's not right.
1. She's basic. 2. She literally can't even.
Pregnant.
an elephant with diarrhea
HeHe
Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
1. Acquitted 2. Fired, retired or expired
2 nuns in a chainsaw fight!
She replied, "$9.50." "Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip "
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was
A: Shoot one.
An elephant with diarrhea...
Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)
Door: "What is 2+2 " Me: "4" Door: "Cool!"
Her: 44&66 HARDER!
1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.
Jose and Hose B
Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)
It was a No. 2.
they only had 2 trucks
Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."
Your ex!
A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.
Only two, but you've got to wonder how they climbed up there!
1 or 2? 1... or 2?
What are our scientists doing
Because his number couldn't fit in their phones
Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
Maully.
Just a little before Eve
A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!
A Douche
Netflix and chill.
Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.
Winter is coming.
Cuz Winterfell and it can't get up! :P
His toga size went from L to XL.
Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well
Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.
