Wait Jokes

What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?

Wait at a buzz stop !

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Why were all the rednecks sitting around an ordinary potato waiting for it to talk?

It was a CommonTater I just made this up I swear

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?

You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

The punch line...

What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman?

They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!

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When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak

What do you do with a green ghoul?

A: Wait until it ripens.

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

What does a Disneyland ride and Viagra have in common?

You have to wait one hour for a 3 minute ride.

This joke may have profanity.

What are you guys doing here?

Just waiting for Ronaldo"

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.

What are we waiting for?

the doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

How do you keep a idiot waiting?

I'll tell you guys later.

Why are gifts in airports so expensive?

God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.

How do you make someone stare at a screen for 30 seconds?

Please wait...

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

because while I wait I like to be introspective

How to keep an idiot waiting?

I'll tell you tomorrow. Edit: Grammar.

How do you make a Gorilla stew?

You keep it waiting for three hours!

What did the sheep obsessed convict say to Jared Fogle?

I have a footlong waiting for **ewe** back in my cell!!!!

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

What broke?

opens door* Just wait until I get out there!! parenting from the bathroom

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

What did the mouth say to the nose?

Nothing; mouths can't ta... oh, wait...

What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?

Wait for him to give it back.

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb?

One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her.

What's the difference between young girls and photographs?

After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

ah wait, i can't remember the rest :/

Whoops wrong sub. Oh wait. This has been done before, hasn't it?

You probably Reddit already.

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days?

For the watch

How do you make a rabbit stew?

Keep it waiting.

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

How does an SJW screw in a light-bulb?

Zir holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around zirself.

How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan?

Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer.

Why does jesus not play video games?

Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

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