Mexican Jokes

What did the Mexican fire chief call his two sons?

jose and josB (Hose A &amp Hose B)

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What do you call a Mexican dessert that won't sink?

Or) What do you call an effeminate Mexican custard Flanboyant Muy terrible. I know.

What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance?

You're the Juan!

What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him?

Get off me holmes!

Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?

Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.

How do Mexicans warm their houses in the winter months?

Central Fajiting.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole?

Quatro Sinco

What do you call a Mexican who likes little kids?

A pedrophile.

What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river?

Quatro-cinco

What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand?

Bury-toes. Hah hah

Why is it impossible to play UNO with Mexicans?

Because they keep stealing all the green cards.

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What do you call a Mexican Super Saiyan?

Fajita

How did the Mexicans get across the border?

They went through Juan by Juan. Forgive me.

What's the difference between Bigfoot and a Mexican with a beard?

Bigfoot is occasionally sighted

What does a Mexican have in common with a cue ball?

The harder you hit em' the more English you get outta em'!

What do you call a Mexican carpet fitter?

underlay underlay"

What do you call a group of Mexican racists?

The Que Que Que!

Why do Mexicans make burritos?

So they can unwrap something for Christmas!

Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

What do you call two mexican firefighters?

Hose A and Hose B.

When's ladies' night at the Mexican restaurant?

Taco Tuesday

Why were there only 1000 people at the Million Mexican March?

They only had 2 trucks.

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?

Where you going essay!

What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future?

Cristobal

What do you call a Mexican Aunt?

A tor-tia.

What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone?

An argumentative ese

Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.

What do you call Mexican stoners?

Baked beans

What did they call the Mexican cleaning robot?

Aye CaRoomba

Why was the Mexican tire sad?

Because it was despair

Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?

Because that might be your bike

What do you call two Mexicans in the back of a fire truck?

Jose and Hose B

How's a Mexican like a cue ball?

The harder you hit it the more English it picks up!

How many Mexicans does it take to change a Lightbuld?

Only Juan...

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man?

Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up.

What's the difference between "a choice" and " to choose?

A choice" is a decision you make. "To choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Why can't you play UNO with a mexican?

They always steal the green card.

How many mexicans can you fit in a bus?

All of them.

What did the Mexican guy get for Christmas?

His verdict.

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

What do you call a Mexican vegan?

A. No Whey Jose

What do books have that Mexicans don't?

Papers.

What do you call two mexicans playing tennis?

Juan on Juan.

What do you call a midget mexican?

A paragraph since he isn't a full essay

Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What do you call Mexican potato chips?

Oles Potato Chips!

What's a cats favorite Mexican dish?

A purr-rito

What do you call a Mexican woman with a large labia minora?

Cunstwaylow

What does a mexican magician make for breakfast?

Toast-tah-dahs!

What's the difference between a Mexican joke and a black joke?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal

Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.

Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States.

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

Why do you not run over a Mexican on a bicycle?

It could be your bicycle!

What does the Mexican kid say as his homework flys out of the window?

Ayyee essay, where are you going

What do you call a Mexican with crazy intentions?

A locomotive!

What do you call a Mexican boxing match?

Juan v Juan

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a Pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

What do you call four Mexicans that have drowned?

Cuatro Cinco.

What do you call a dog that likes Mexican food?

A Qdoberman!!!!!!!!!!

Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?

Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it

What do you call two Mexicans on a firetruck?

Hose A and Hose B.

Where does a Mexican store his food?

Hispantry

What do you call 2 Mexicans in a boat with a case of beer?

A pinat

What did the illiterate Mexican say to the funny looking bottle of mayonnaise?

LMAO"

What do you call a Mexican that's in the rebellion?

A Rogue Juan

How many Mexicans does it take to replace a light bulb?

Juan

Why does a Mexican take Xanax?

For his Borderline Personality Disorder.

What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican?

E.T. learned English and went home.

Why isn't there many Mexicans in Europe?

BeCause it's to cold, long a swim

Why don't mexicans have checking accounts?

It's too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

What do you call a Mexican girl who loves to sleep around?

A Burrithoe

What do 12 year old mexican girls and born-again christians have in common?

They both have a little Jesus in 'em...

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with?

I asked, "What " He said, "Little Caesars!"

What do you call a Mexican smoking weed?

A baked bean

What do you call Chinese soup made by a Mexican?

Juan-ton soup

What do you call two Mexicans playing soccer?

Juan on Juan.

What do u call a mexican in the back of a cop car?

Pork and beans

What do you get if you cross a Mexican with an Irishman?

A redhead who can tan.

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

Why isn't the Mexican olympic team any good?

Anyone who can run jump or swim is already across the border.

What do Mexican parents and good reddit comments have in common?

They have lots of children.

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.

How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence?

Liver alone, cheese mine!

What do you call a street on the Mexican border?

Wall Street

What's the name of the tree that gives mexicans?

The scaffolding

What did the Mexican firefighter name his two kids?

Jose and Hose-B

What's a Mexican midget barbers favorite restaurant?

Little Cesar's

What do you call a mexican who last his car?

Juaquin.

What do you call a Mexican Ghost?

A Juanting.

What did the Mexican kid get for his birthday?

My bike :(

What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs?

Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs Consuelo.

What do you call a Mexican Gummy Bear?

Delici**OSO**!

Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job?

He ate his tacho.

Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo?

They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.

What do Mexicans say when they're cold?

BRRRRRRRRiba!

What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?

A: Oil of Ole'

What is a Mexicans favourite sport?

Cross-Country

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What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?

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