Girl Jokes

How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale?

Urinate

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Why do girls never travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

Your girl has to chew before she swallows.

Why do girls always walk around in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

How do you know if a girl is dating a vampire?

They only wanna go down on her once a month

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

What happens when two girl rabbits really like each other?

Bunnylingus!

What's the difference between a praying nun and a girl taking a bath?

One has hope in her soul and the other has soap in her hole

What do you call girls that have a chance of winning?

Chicken Tenders.

What do Saudi guys and girls have in common?

They all get stoned constantly.

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What's the best way to make a girl weak in the knees?

Kick em.

What did the boy pee say to the girl pee?

Urine angel.

What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in church has hope in her soul

Why don't electrical engineers get girls?

Because they can resistor.

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual

Why can't girls count to 70?

Cause 69's a mouthful!

Why do girls generally go to the bathroom in groups?

Cause they're a bunch of pussies.

This joke may have profanity.

Why do girls talk so much?

They have four lips

What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?

The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure.

What you you call a girl you meet on Reddit?

You don't.

What do you call a girl that raps about women rights?

Feminem.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans" ;)

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

What do you call the girls who outrun me?

Virgins.

How do you get a girl from the Midwest to "s" your "d"?

Dip it in ranch.

Why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks?

cuz she couldn't find the door handle

How do you call it when a girl kicks a boy in the groin during the first date?

Premature emasculation.

What do you call a girl who's sitting in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing?

Because she didn't have arms.

What did the guy Zebra say to the girl Zebra?

Take ze bra off.

What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume ?

Because they are ugly and they stink !

Why do girls wear make up and perfume?

Cuz they're ugly and they stink!

Where do girls have the curliest hair?

Africa.

What is an Arkansas virgin?

A girl who can run faster than her brothers.

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.

What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?

They were both fingered by their brother.

How was the party last night?

17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

Why did the girl reject iron oxide?

Because it was FeO

What's easier to pick up the heavier it is?

A girl.

Why don't girls count to two?

Because they "can't even."

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head &amp Shoulders on the beach

Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

His place is a dump

What do you call a girl who plays tennis on her knees?

Courtney.

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

What is the difference between a girl and a pool table?

You have a shot with a pool table.

What are the two things?

Girl: Your feet.

Why could Don Juan always pick up girls in his car?

It was electric. Also, the car had a set of hands.

Why do boys walk fast and girls speak more?

Because boys have one extra leg and girls have one extra mouth.

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?

It was wound up already.

What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm?

Girl: Apollo neck jumpers

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

What kind of bikes do girls ride?

Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)

What do girls and parking spaces have in common?

All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled

Why don't you go down on a girl in the morning?

Have you ever tried to split a grilled cheese

Why did the girl spray her clock?

A: It was full of ticks.

What all girls want?

All girls want 70 things in their life 1. Shopping Rest are "69"

Why do girls travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch v=rQegAi6d-MM

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

because he wasn't a fungi!

What do you call a girl that goes down right after you just met?

Ronda Rousey

Who is that Idiot..?

If Boy is in love - His parent Ask: Idiot, Who is that Girl.. Moral :: No matter who ever is in love... Boys Are Always Idiot :P (LOL)

What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

Why are boys faster than girls?

Because they have ball bearings and a stick shift.

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky?

A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous.

Why are men better cooks?

They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months

Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter time?

Cuz they'll get chapped lips. Brr.

What, over in ten seconds?

Girl: "No, eight black men and a gun."

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

Why do girls... Hang out in odd numbers?

Because they can't even!

How awesome were the 50s?

None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals.

Why do girls always walk in odd packs?

Because they literally can't even.

Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory?

Because she was fed up with the hole business.

Why do so many girls do archaeology degrees?

Because they love digging up the past.

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?

Lily !

Why girls live longer than boys?

SHOPPING" never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,"PAYING the "BILLS" does

Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist?

Because he was sketchy.

Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis?

She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!

What Should Make A Book Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?

Jorkens: "A Girl On The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"

How do you know a girl is into you?

Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't.

Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?

Because they're ugly and they smell bad

What kind of girl does a hamburger like?

Any girl named Patty!

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?

Because she was an operetta (operator).

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."

Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes?

Answer : "Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"

What happened to the girl who went fishing with a group of men?

She returned home with a red snapper.

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Why do girls make a "shhhhh" noise while peeing and men don't?

Cos men have a 6 inch silencer.

What is about 6 in long, has a head, girls love to blow it, and is in a guys pants?

a dollar bill you dirty minded people!! LMFAO

Who was that girl I saw you with last night?

Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper.

What's that girl?

Timmy's in the old well L: Arf arf He's dead You sure L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash

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