Fart
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
There used to be exactly two, and now it's too offensive to talk about.
HOLY SH*T A TALKING COW!
Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!
Because they have 4 lips.
We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other.
Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)
Keemstar
Because the g is silent
Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.
What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....
Nothing you idiot, bananas don't talk!
Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.
All they talk about is the presidential erection
Vocabulary
He was trying to hold the door
A Freudian Sleep.
They'll stare at your shoes instead of theirs.
A: Lonely
We don't talk about it...
So he wouldn't talk in his sleep
Nutin special. Credit to my 8 year old daughter who made that one up.
Because I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
Nothing bananas can't talk.
Cell Phones.
They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.
Nothing. Cats don't freaking talk.
February... because it has the least number of days
Current events
A topical rainforest.
You always end up going off onto tangents.
He was talking on his shellphone.
Nothing. It's rude to talk with your mouth full.
because it doesn't have mushroom to talk.
With a luigi board. Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.
Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.
Hey, the person you're talking to said to give me a few bucks.
Their scared they'll say something nigative
Fruit can't talk
Because you lose every time you talk about him ( )
Nothing, instruments don't talk.
They don't, it's a miff.
They are sitting on their lips!
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
He is so misunderstood.
Shiitake mushrooms.
Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door
An extroverted physicist looks at shoes when they're talking to you.
Hey guys, I just recently found out that my friend is an idiot. I was talking with him on Facebook and I was telling him about this game that was free online, and he says "I'm on my way to see my girlfriend". I'm sorry but WHAT? well I have a fish tank. Feel free to comment down below your stories about how you realised your friend is an idiot.
ask about his routine.
On and on anon.
They both have intelligent eyes, but neither can talk properly.
Jack and the beans talk
Oh my god a talking coconut!
Shiit-talking mushrooms
and why do all these reggae artists keep talking about wanting to burn him.
5 minutes talk to wife.
The NHL playoffs
A: they're always talking about God.
Because he's a cross product.
Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk.
Yall nailed it.
Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it
Two. One to screw in the bulb and another to talk about how complicated it was.
Dodged-a-Rango
They'll B flat
None you know of. Since they signed a Non Disclosure Agreement to not talk about it.
Are you talking to me?
The punchline
Because there is no point!
They're the ones who look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.
Calculus
You talk to him!
A cognac
He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
They already know everything.
He looks at shoes when he's talking to you.
Arduous.
He says "I'm not a sales guy".
I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.
He was talking smack.
Introverted Engineer looks at His shoes when he's talking to you. Extroverted Engineer looks at Your shoes when he's talking to you.
What are you talking about? The bulb is fine.
Talking while driving.
They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.
So that they can hear each other over their clothes
A small medium at large.
He was a little horse
Nothing, trees can't talk!
Doctor Dolittle
What is the difference between a introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer? An introverted engineer looks at his feet when he talks to you. An extroverted engineer looks at YOUR feet when he talks to you!
Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot.
Tie his hands together
One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
He stares at shoes while he talks to you.
They're still talking about what happened in 1982.
Talk in your sleep.
Eh?
You have to read ursine.
When you talk to a bad girl, ask 'How much are you '
He knows where all the bad girls live
Somewhere around a buck an ear.
Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org
It always had some sort of weed on it!
Oman!
When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes.
Oh look, they're done.
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."
the pirate replied, "Arrg it's driving me nuts!"
San Diego.
A plane bagel.
They say the business is toast.
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person
