Cross Jokes

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?

A boa constructor !

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?

A monster with an all-over perm.

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

A very upset child.

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?

Bugs Bunny !

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the strawberry cross the road?

There was a traffic jam.

Why did the monkey cross the road?

To loot the pharmacy on the other side

What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?

Sir Loin!

What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?

A humdinger.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?

A sourpuss !

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower !

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?

The Netcracker suite.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?

A fangfurther.

What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ?

DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !

What do you get when you cross the New World Order and risque behavior?

The Illuminaughty

What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?

A: Curly hare.

What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?

Nailed it

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp ?

A bear faced lyre !

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?

The Masked-quito !

What do you get if you cross a retard and a graffiti artist?

Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat ?

He had to get a new goat !

Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?

Because he didn't truss it.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?

The Baaahaaamaaas !

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?

Something that stinks and stings!

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?

A dirty kid !

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

Why did the clown cross the road?

A: To find his rubber chicken.

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway?

To get to the *other side*

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

When is a bad time to cross a black cat?

A: When you are a mouse!

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?

Light ale !

Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

Because it was a double-crosser

What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?

A: Oil of Ole'

What do you call a president crossing the road?

A presidestrian

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

What do you get if you cross a cow a french fry and a sofa?

A cowch potato!

What do you get when you cross a fish with no eyes?

PETA

What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?

A: Wet feet.

Why'd the British man cross the ocean?

Freedom.

How about an office party?

ME: crosses out "replace coworkers with puppies" I guess

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?

A: A trip to Israel.

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena ?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs !

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.

What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

a retarded gorilla

What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier?

A Drill Sergeant

Why did yo girl cross the road?

Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

A: You get light music.

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk ?

Dirty looks from the mouse !

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

Why did the hummer cross the river?

For the insurance money.

Why did Jesus go to the gym?

To make sure his cross fit.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

Why did the nihilist cross the road?

It doesn't matter.

What do you get when you cross a bulldog and a maltese shih tzu?

An abortion.

This joke may have profanity.

Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?

It wanted to get to the other site !

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

A: By sticking to the chicken's foot.

What Happens When You Cross A Programmer And A Musician?

An Algo-rhythm.

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ?

Something from another universe -ity !

Why did the shrimp cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone?

A fangster.

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

a surprisingly stable person according to my Homie O'Statis.

Why did Einstein cross the road?

So the other side could get to him

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

What do you get when cross a black man and a octopus?

I don't know but I'm sure he could pick the hell out of some cotton.

What do you get if you cross a pig and a telephone ?

A lot of crackling on the line !

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?

Hop suey!

What do you get when you cross a mad cow and an angry sheep?

An animal in a very baaaaaaad mooooooood

What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey?

A Meringueutan

Why did the chicken and the freemason cross the street?

To get the Yolk Rite.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?

Bike carbonate of soda !

Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail?

Because they couldn't cross the streams.

What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty?

A bouncy castle.

What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Independence Day?

The Fourth of Ghoul-ly!

What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show?

Moshed potatoes.

Why did the 25 year old cross the street?

To catch a charmander.

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck?

A firequacker.

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.

What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe?

A melon collie.

What do you get when you cross a child and an alligator?

An alligator.

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To send people to the other side.

What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun?

a force of habit

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide

What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey?

A cross.

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Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

He was Cross-Fit.

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

What do you say when you meet a German virgin for the first time?

Guden Tight

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What do you call half a kitten?

Leftovers

What do you call an interracial dwarf actor?

A half cast

Dirt Jokes More Dirt Jokes

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

a road

How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt?

A Terra Bite

Mountain Climber Jokes More Mountain Climber Jokes

How did the thermal imaging camera warn the mountain-climber?

Isee cold."

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Skeleton Jokes More Skeleton Jokes

Why couldn't the skeleton pay his bus fare?

Because he was skint.

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel

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What do you call a Chinese kid playing college football?

A wok on.

What did the American Chef say to the Asian Chef?

Take a wok.