Arm Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swingset?

Because she had no arms. "knock knock" "whose there?" "not sally!"

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?

Wave at him

How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?

He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs on a pool table?

Rick O'Shay

Why was Aron Ralston arrested by the FBI?

For giving arms to Iraq.

Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?

Right where ya left him.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call a kid with one arm and three legs?

Unfortunate.

What will a blind, deaf child with no arms get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the boy with no legs and arms get for Christmas?

Cancer

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call... ...a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other?

A Speech Impediment :)

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

Cancer.

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

She tried to read a road sign going 45mph

Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book?

Her arms are amputated.

How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services?

An arm and a leg.

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

What do you call a guy with no arms &amp no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel

Why dad?

he asks. Because my arm is getting tired

How do you stop a thundering herd of Apes?

Hold up your arm and say "Go back you didn't say 'May I'"

What do you call a man in the middle of the ocean with no arms or legs?

Bob

What do you call an Italian with no arms?

Deaf

Why can't Bach play the piano?

He "Baroque" his arm, and also he's dead.

What do you call a black man with no arms or legs?

TRUSTWORTHY!

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?

Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.

Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?

He threw his arm out.

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

What's black and got ten arms?

I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell.

What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?

Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water?

A: Bob

How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?

She was shouting for help.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

You wave hello!

What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm?

Thalidomide

What did the little girl with no arms, no legs, blind, deaf and mute get for Christmas?

Cancer

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

What do you call a black with no arms?

Trustworthy.

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

What is brown and has got four legs and an arm?

A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying under a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat?

Skip.

What famous actor costs an arm &amp a leg to hire?

ARMold SchwarzenLEGger

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?

You wave!

Why cant billy ride the swings?

he has no arms. knock knock. Whos there Not billy

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

Matt

Why couldn't Susie ride the swings?

A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there Not Susie!

How long are your arms?

Jesus: Why Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what Judas:Across. How long across.

Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ?

Butcher your arms around me !

What do you call a Scottish man with no arms and no legs?

a bell.

What did the children with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a high school?

Names

What does an Italian... What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impediment. AY!

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs?

Pai-Ling

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs... ...hanging on the wall?

Art ...floating in the sea Bob ...laying on the floor Matt ...down in a hole Phil ...sitting in a pot Stu ...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in your swimming pool?

Bob

Why can't Sally ride the swings?

Cause she doesn't have arms. Knock, Knock, Whose there Not Sally...

Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.

What has 4 legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome?

Names

What happened to the Arm &amp?

Hammer Deodorant car?

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?

A: Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

What has got four legs and an arm?

A: A Rottweiler in a playground.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

What do you call a person who is missing his left eye, left ear, left arm and left leg?

Alright.

Why did the T-Rex's girlfriend leave him?

Because he said he only loved her this much (hold out t-rex like arms) Sorry this one requires a bit of a visual, but I thought you guys might like it

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

Bob

Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?

he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

What do you call 222,215 Frenchman with their arms up?

The active french armed forces.

What do you call 5 guys who have no arms or legs and a woman floating in the water together?

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob and Ann

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus?

Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas?

Cancer. :(

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water?

Bob

What did the boy with no arms &amp legs get at the World Cup?

Cancer. ( )

What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A. Wave at her.

Who's there ! Butch ! Butch who ?

Butch your arms around me !

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Mat

Why did little Suzy fall of the swing set?

She has no arms... Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

You might also enjoy:

Matt Jokes More Matt Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door?

Matt.

What are your best 'no arm, no legs' jokes?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on his porch Matt.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What do two rights make?

An airplane! haha Wright brothers :-) I made this joke when I was in Junior high

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk?

A man laughing his head off.

What is an independent variable?

Student: A variable who don't need no man

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

What do you call a person who falls onto you on a train ?

A laplander !

Neil Jokes More Neil Jokes

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

Oc The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have?

Neil.

Bear Grylls Jokes More Bear Grylls Jokes

How many bears could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

Seven.

Why does Bear Grylls love Bud Light?

It's sterile and he likes the taste.

Swimming Pool Jokes More Swimming Pool Jokes

What does David Bowie do after he gets out of the swimming pool?

He ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. (Sorry if repost)

How do you get 100 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Say "hey, you Canadians! Get out of that swimming pool!"

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?

Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.