He always gets nailed to the boards.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Jesus in a submarine.
Because he was born in a barn.
Because they always try to mess with his nails.
Me! That hurts!"
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Because when you're a carpenter in the desert you can't get wood.
To Test a Mint
Math hue.
He got hammered with his buddies.
The look on their face while being nailed.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Miracle whip.
Baby on board.
They all had a brave-heart.
A Chrysler
Jesus didn't walk around Dublin acting like he's Bono.
Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.
Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.
Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.
He always gets stuck on 2 Across.
Hebrews.
Crucifried
Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?
He was Cross-Fit.
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
The Cross Product
Jiu Jitsu.
Wine-er-melon
A bit cross.
He got too attached to his work.
Jesus may actually return some day.
Jesus didn't have a bunch of tattoos of a Mexican...
A velocirapture
Because it was Hammertime'
A Cruci-fixie.
Because they fall through his hands.
They both moan when you nail them, but only one of them actually enjoys it.
So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.
Jesus in a hurry.
Because he said he loves miso.
Jesus doesn't have a bunch of Mexicans tattooed all over himself.
Don't do anything until I get back
Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.
He was cross.
Because Jesus WEPt.
Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him.
This joke makes more sense if you can see it in person, but we'll give it a shot, anyway. Use your imagination. Why do the ladies love Jesus? Because he was hung like this!
I've cleaned up and found Jesus.
Pontius Pilates
They both got nailed all night.
Because he only had 12 followers.
He got crossed up.
He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.
is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See
Jesus: *winks at camera*
She heard about his second coming
Haploid
He tried to skip the Cross walk.
Made you look!
OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.
At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS" At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
Nailed it.
Crossfit
Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)
Because he got nailed on the boards.
What did Jesus say to Mohammed 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return 'How many did you take with you '
He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.
Because he'd always get nailed into the boards
Pray-Pal
This is my body, I'm nice with jam."
A good Friday
He didn't like the Pilate
a nail gun!
Because given enough time it rises
Jesus, take the wheel!
Because he never existed.
J.C. Penny
Because "made of bread" was already taken by Jesus.
A cross trainer.
because she was touched by Jesus.
Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.
When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!
He got crossed.
Hey guys! What's goin on Tweet my return! #JesusReturns"
A nail gun
Jesus: Why Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what Judas:Across. How long across.
4. Prophet.
Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.
Fridays.
A one night stand with Jesus
It wasn't making enough prophet
Because Jesus saves.
The Auntie Christ.
They both have a little Jesus in 'em...
Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards
He only got nailed once
I turned MY student loans into vodka...
Cross fit.
Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)
It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(
Because people were dying to get in!
To put the bones on the other side.
A native American artifact. What do you call a HALF-EMPTY bud light can on the side of the road? An extremely rare native American artifact.
Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.
Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.
Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.
When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.
A pigment of your imagination.
Dude: It's very simple, I will stop my imagination
Oh sweetheart, you are the eye of my maple....
Jesus
Because he had no guts.
To get to the other side.
BF: 'Do you have something to hide ' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'
ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human
